Excerpts from an Interview with Adam Carolla

The new book, “In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks” by Adam Carolla, is now available on Amazon.com! Order it now and get your book jacket signed!

Listen to the the full audio: “Off the Cuff”

Kevin Terrell

USDradio: Hey Adam, how you doing today?

Adam Carolla: (pause) Uh, good! Sorry (laughing) I’m standing in a Taco Bell in Burbank.

USDR: A man after my own heart, I love Taco Bell.

Adam: I love Taco Bell too, but I just, I threw away my receipt and now I’m not sure if I got the right one…yeah I’m ok.

USDR: [Since you were their spokesman] do you get it for free?

Adam: No. But everyone almost gets it for free.

USDR: (laughing) You try that new double X-L Chalupa?

Adam: Man, you’re reading my mind brother.

USDR: I just got that yesterday it’s a lot to handle.

Adam: Yeah, a – (laughs) a double X-L chalupa… that’s why the terrorists hate us. Like, uh, X-L chalupa…not enough! for us. We gotta go double X-L on the chalupa.

USDR: Yeah to match our double X-L pants.

Adam: Yeah, I know, there used to be a little shame in being, being overweight. Like there used to be a fat kid in every class. Now there’s a skinny kid in every class of fat kids. Its scary isn’t it?

USDR: Yeah, absolutely, like Kevin Smith doesn’t have a problem making a big stink over his altercation with Southwest when, the meat of the story is he has to take up two seats.

Adam: Yeah, the meat of the story is his meat. He is a buffalo. And it’s the weirdest thing in the world although, I’m always, uh, I’m secretly envious, you know, like when people return like, you know, like douche or zit cream or something and are like “this has not been effective at all!” It’s like “wow” I mean, Kevin Smith, I know you were shamed, but its called shaming. By the way, for all the pedophiles out there, you would not want to bless a nine-year-old Kevin Smith, he would definitely tell his pops about that.

USDR: Exactly. So, I’ve been a big fan of your podcast, it’s hysterical, you get great guests on there, and I think that format really suits your talents and your style nicely, but has it been fun for you to be free from the constraints of terrestrial radio?

Adam: Yeah. I mean, not the constraints of the paycheck, but the constraints of the FCC and program directors and that kind of thing. Um, yeah, I’m actually heading over there right now to interview Mike Roe from Dangerous Jobs and all that stuff and…he’s just a great guy. And I know that we’re gonna have ample time to really sit down and talk. And really get into the stuff we want to get into and not get sort of hurried along and pushed by the clock and sponsors and that kind of stuff.

USDR: Let’s talk about the book…it’s called “In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks.” For a guy that’s been known to refer to the library as the “book-i-torium,” it seems like an odd move. What was the impetus for it, or I guess who’s idea was it.

Adam: Well, uh, somebody – I guess my agent called me and said somebody wants to know if you want to write a book, and uh, it happened to be Crown and Random House… I never would have thought to myself, ‘I need to write a book,’ but its like, somebody offered me money and said do it, and I wasn’t going to, uh, mail it in. There’s nothing I would do, nothing I would ask people to pay me money for and consume that I would mail in. So even though I’m not a writer, once it was put before me I got into it pretty good.

USDR: How long have you been working on it?

Adam: It took, I mean it took pretty close to a year. I mean, you go around with it a few times, you do a few laps on it, but yeah, I took the better part of a year on it.

USDR: Now, you’ve said that your dad is notoriously disinterested in the things you’re interested in, but he’s also an avid reader. So this book is going to be a catch 22 for him.

Adam: Yeah he’s gonna be screwed on this one except for, I don’t think he’s going to read it, because he is an avid reader, but he would only read things that he would wanna read. But I don’t think this would fall under that heading….But you know, the problem is, you know, there’s not really too many kind words said about him in the book, so I’d just sort of prefer him and my mom don’t pick it up.

Adam, his live show schedule, his book, and his free podcast, can all be found on adamcarolla.com