Cuffing season: Gen Z edition

USD talks dating norms in 2022

Satvika Nitya / Asst. A&C Editor / The USD Vista

The onset of December and the joy of the holiday season marks the beginning of another time of the year: cuffing season. With love and romance on the mind, the do’s and don’ts of dating take precedence, especially in the tumultuous world of Generation Z (Gen Z).

The colder and bleaker months of fall and winter are popularly known to be the time for seeking out romantic partners. Though the “cuffs’’ in cuffing season do in fact allude to handcuffs, the notion is not as provocative as one may think. With the term’s earliest use in 2011 college jargon and newspapers, cuffing season simply refers to the idea of being tied down and connected to another person. 

The season’s run typically occurs from early October to Valentine’s Day, especially because of the cold weather, lack of outdoors and the drop in sunshine. But just like any other trend during any other season, the norms of dating change yearly.

USD senior Aidan Filipovic has been in a stable relationship for almost two years and commented on the norms he has seen in and outside his relationship.

“I made the first move with my girlfriend,” said Filipovic. “But I love women making the first move. I think it’s super sexy. And I don’t think there is any reason for them not to, and if we’re talking about equality, this is one form of it. There’s a lot of pressure on guys to perform, but that can also go onto a woman.”

The idea of women making the first move has become more popular in today’s dating scene, but according to Filipovic, it isn’t seen as much as it is heard.

“I think women love the idea of making the first move and asking men out but not the practice of it,” said Filipovic. “I think they’re just scared. But they need to know that men love to be spoiled too. It’s a big green flag if you make the first move.”

USD sophomore Soniya Malla shared her perspective on the topic.

“I’ve seen how men talk about women,” said Malla. “And there are exceptions, but in my experience, seeing conversations and texts between my male friends when they talk about women makes me so uncomfortable. And knowing that, I think girls are just super insecure to make the first move, because they know they will be judged.”

While there are changes to the more traditional female role of dating, there are also new rules to the male role. Dating in 2022 has often brought up questions about chivalry, its definition and its relevance. 

The true meaning of chivalry is the religious, social and moral code that was followed by knights and noblemen. But in the modern world, chivalry is referred to as a man’s cordial treatment of women.

USD sophomore Christian Thames talked about how chivalry is viewed among Gen Z.

“True chivalry has kind of died,” said Thames. “What we think is chivalry now is just the bare minimum, because chivalry actually refers to going above and beyond to show that you have the utmost respect and appreciation for your partner. Opening doors, getting drinks and food — that’s the least you can do. In our generation, most guys don’t feel the need to do more, maybe because they were just raised wrong.”

Along with chivalry, the topic of independence and female empowerment is also called into question. 

“Now it’s almost preached to women to not expect chivalry and be independent because they are told that guys are going to hurt them nonetheless,” said Thames. “So now, when a girl with low expectations sees the bare minimum, they think it’s chivalry.”

Keeping low expectations often stems from the “no strings attached” policy propagated by the prevalent hook-up culture. 

One of the biggest trends in dating, especially during college years, is being intimate without the risk of commitment.

“A big part of that insecurity, to expect less, comes from hook-up culture,” said Malla. “Women have to think a lot about safety when we talk to men, because we have all experienced coercion and inappropriate comments. We know we are judged by appearance, and we know men use the norms of hook-up culture to treat us badly.”

With conversations about independence and equality comes one of the most heavily debated topics in dating history: “Who should pay on the first date?”

USD sophomore Elena Wendt shared her perspective on this controversial question.

“I think whoever asked for the date is the one who should pay,” Wendt said. “But in a relationship, I think the boy should pay. I’m more old-fashioned that way. I think it shows a lot of respect to the girl. But also, girls have to put in more money and effort into meeting society’s beauty standards, compared to men, and even though it’s unfair, men make more money than women in the workplace. I think that impacts the decision of who pays.”

Just like any other trend, dating follows its own patterns and norms that change frequently. Keeping up with them can be strenuous, but being safe and knowing the do’s and don’ts can be beneficial.