It’s not a competition; everyone is struggling
Life is hard. We don’t need to make it harder.
Jenny Han / Asst. Opinion Editor / The USD Vista
It’s no secret that this pandemic has been difficult for many people for several different reasons. For many college students, the pandemic ruined what was supposed to be a period of career exploration, lifelong friendships, and learning opportunities. However, it’s easy to feel guilty about feeling terrible especially when others around us seem to have it much worse. It also doesn’t help that members of Gen Z are often mocked and stereotyped by others as being “snowflakes.” However, the objective severity of someone’s misery isn’t how one should determine the legitimacy of that grief. It’s time we stop engaging in the Suffering Olympics.
The Suffering Olympics refers to the tendency people have to prove that they have it harder than everyone else or when someone tries to prove that the problems you have aren’t so bad compared to others. No matter what form this mental game takes, the Suffering Olympics is a shaming technique. It implies that if you aren’t first place, if you aren’t living through the worst-case scenario, you have no right to feel the way that you do. However, imposing this way of thinking is toxic and helps no one.
We need to acknowledge that everyone has different levels and abilities to handle negative emotions and circumstances. In addition, everyone has different definitions of what constitutes a bad situation worthy of stress in the first place.
A test that might be a nuisance to one student might be the trigger to a mental breakdown for another. To some people, getting a C as a grade is worthy of celebration. For others, getting anything less than an A is shameful and embarrassing. We need to stop judging people based on our own standards and instead take a moment to step into their shoes.
This doesn’t mean that you should let that stress or sadness consume you. I don’t think complaining for the sake of complaining is productive in the long run. However, it doesn’t mean that what you’re feeling in that moment is inherently good or bad. Acknowledging the way that you feel is much more productive and healthier than burying those emotions out of shame, because you can only solve problems once you acknowledge that you have a problem.
Some may say that this doesn’t change the fact that others objectively are worse off. They might be right. But it begs the question: how does that correlate? There is no inherently universal rule that only one person can be struggling at any given moment in time.
In addition, there is no possible way to fully understand the severity of a situation that you haven’t lived through. People are allowed to be miserable at varying degrees at the same time. People are allowed to struggle in their own lives.
There are some things worth competing for. However, competing on the basis of struggles ultimately helps no one.
At the end of the day, we all have our own problems. Life is suffering. Instead of shaming others for having problems, we should aim to listen to one another and help each other out. And worst-case scenario, we can just wallow in sadness together.
The views expressed in the editorial and op-ed sections are not necessarily those of The USD Vista staff, the University of San Diego, or its student body.