Letters to Laura

LAURA FRANCESCHI / CONTRIBUTOR / THE USD VISTA

Hi, my name is Laura, and I am a USD senior and Psychology major. I wanted to start this column for anyone on campus to write to because I’ve found myself giving lots of advice to my friends in day-to-day life, so I thought it might be fun to open it to the USD community. You can ask about anything from friendships, to dating tips, and even crazy stories that you want to share. 

Sign your name with a fun alias and write anonymously to “Letters to Laura” for my advice on college survival and life in general. 

Dear Laura, 

Date dashes have started up again and I’m getting stressed about who I should ask!! Do you have any advice on who / how I should go about asking someone? 

-Dashing for a date

Dear Dashing,

It’s definitely stressful to put yourself out there like that, but if you do, you might meet someone awesome! As for who you should ask, think about who you would have the most fun with. Someone who is down for a good time will always be a great date. If there is someone who you want to get to know better, asking them to a date dash, or even your formal would be a great opportunity as well. If you’re worried about whether they’ll say yes, phone a friend to see if they can get any inside info, too. Finally, when in doubt, you can always bring a friend to your date dash, and you’ll be guaranteed to have a blast.

Dear Laura,

What should I do if my friends like my brother more than me and he’s beginning to take my spot in the friend group?

-Bored of my Brother

Dear Bored,

First off, I’ll say that I feel for you. It’s never a good feeling to be left out or replaced in a group. In college, it definitely can take some time to find friends who really have your back. If you think that these are the right friends, the best thing to do is be open and honest with them. Luckily there is no maximum number of friends that you can have, so maybe your brother can be an addition to the friend group, instead of a replacement for you. Also, since you had these friends first, I’m sure they care about you just as much as they do your brother. So, I would suggest having a talk with your friends about how you’ve been feeling, so that they make more of an effort to show you how much they love you! 

Dear Laura, 

My question is about friends! How do I join in with very close friends, who all live together when I live alone and without asking them to include me? 🙂 

-Asking for a friend

Dear Asking,

I think of invites as very reciprocal – you typically get more when you give them! I definitely find myself getting frustrated though if I feel like my invites aren’t reciprocated. It’s definitely important for friends to put in an equal amount of effort. If I do find this to be the case, after I have made an effort and I’m not getting it in return, I try to focus on the friends who make more of an effort with me. For now, try inviting your friends to do something, whether it’s at your place, or somewhere else. This way, they’ll probably think to invite you the next time they’re doing something fun.

Thanks for reading the first edition of Letters to Laura! Send in your submissions anonymously to get your question answered in the next issue. 

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