Remembering Ian Trautwein

Students and faculty honor the life of beloved student and friend

HALEY JACOB / FEATURE EDITOR / THE USD VISTA

Ian Trautwein came onto campus last semester as a bright-eyed, eager first-year student ready to immerse himself in everything college life and the beautiful city of San Diego had to offer. Trautwein came to the University of San Diego from his home state of Colorado, where he grew up very athletic, adventurous and always humorous and caring in nature. His time at USD lasted only three months, from the start of the school year in September to his departure back to Colorado in November, but to friends and faculty, their time spent with Trautwein felt like a lifetime.

Trautwein was diagnosed with Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma (ARMS) his junior year of high school in 2019, which is a rare type of cancer that affects muscle tissue. He received extensive chemotherapy treatment when he was home and while attending college, putting up a strong fight against the unexpected, tough diagnosis. On April 26, Trautwein passed away at home, surrounded by family. 

Despite Trautwein’s battle with cancer, his friends described him as always “doing something.” Whether it was going to the beach, playing frisbee on the Valley field or hosting bonfire nights with his friends, Trautwein was always thinking about what was next. 

First-year and close friend of Trautwein, Elliott Gorsuch, attested to Trautwein’s ability to make the most out of his time.

“I’d say he grew up really fast because he’s had cancer for so long,” Gorsuch said. “He never expected, or at least the doctor’s never expected, for him to even make it to college-age when he first got diagnosed. So, I don’t think he ever took a moment for granted, he really lived in the moment, and anything he did, he put his all into it. There was no half-assing anything with Ian, which was incredible to see. He and I would leave stuff together. He always just knew when it was the right time to leave, call it quits, and go back and live for the next day.”

Close friend and fellow first-year,  Caroline Donahue, admired Trautwein’s commitment to making time for friends all while enduring treatment. 

“He wouldn’t openly complain about anything ever,” Donahue said. “He would just say little things, so we all knew what he was going through, but it wasn’t ever him complaining. He just wanted to do a bunch, and he was always on the go. He had a job, he was going to the gym every day, he was getting treatment, and then school, and then he was always like, ‘Hey, let’s go to the beach, let’s go to a bonfire.’ I think the way he looked at life is really cool because I think he just wanted to do a bunch and knew maybe he didn’t have all the time in the world, so he just did what he wanted.”

Trautwein’s positive energy and care for others are two of his most memorable attributes. Assistant Director of Outdoor Adventures (OA) Mark Ceder worked with Trautwein through the campus program and shared about Trautwein’s selflessness. He remembered his first interaction with Trautwein fondly, noting his bright, welcoming smile. 

“I mean, it starts with a smile, and he just has this infectious smile,” Ceder said. “And, he was so concerned for others, and would kind of hide what he was dealing with and really express his care and concern for other people he was around. He was very intentional about what he was sharing and what he wasn’t sharing. I just really see him as a protector as well. He didn’t want to hurt others, and he knew that them really knowing what was going on with his cancer would’ve been hurtful for them.”

Those that knew Trautwein told many stories that highlighted his loving character. Donahue shared that the first week she met Trautwein, everyone started to call him “Dad” because of his jokes, demeanor, and the feeling of security he emulated. 

Ceder shared the “big spooning” story from OA’s first-year pre-orientation trip with Trautwein. He explained that while on camping trips, the goal is not to waste any food. When there is food leftover, everyone grabs a spoon to finish it, hence the tradition of “big spooning.” One night during the pre-orientation trip after dinner, Trautwein took the tradition to another level.

“After everyone finished off the leftover rice and corn, there was leftover salsa, maybe like half a jar, and all of a sudden, Ian just starts drinking the salsa,” Ceder said. “And I’m like, ‘You don’t have to do this. We can put a cap on it and save the salsa for another day,’ and he responded like, ‘It’s whatever. We’re big spooning. We’re finishing off the leftovers. I got this.’”

Ceder had never seen anyone commit to “big spooning” to the same level as Trautwein. The context of the tradition is similar to the saying “taking one for the team.” Ceder sees it as a selfless act, doing something for others despite one’s already full appetite. 

“Nobody wants to do it. You’ve already eaten your dinner, you’ve already gotten your seconds, you’ve already filled yourself, and this act is doing something for the good of the group,” Ceder said. “Sometimes it inflicts pain on yourself, but you still do it for others, and he embodied that.”

This year, Trautwein will be the inaugural recipient of OA’s “Big Spoon of the Year” award, dedicated to the guide who embodies selflessness and the willingness to promote the betterment of others. 

One unique aspect about Trautwein was his talent for singing. He was a member of his high school’s choir back in Colorado and enjoyed singing for his friends here at USD. When his friend hosted bonfire nights, Trautwein would often pull out his guitar and serenade the group. Gorsuch would sometimes accompany Trautwein by playing his bongo.

When Trautwein moved back home in November, his father set up a recording studio in their house for Trautwein to continue singing and recording songs for his friends. Trautwein’s friends have four song recordings to listen to and remember him by, including an older recording of “Let it Snow,” which he performed with his high school choir, the 90s hit “No Diggity,” “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra, and “Rubble to Rubble” by Wilderado—which is the most sentimental to the group. 

Trautwein made sure every song was perfect for his friends.

“We would tell him to keep practicing and to send us recordings,” Donahue said. “His dad told us a few days ago that Ian would always be in there practicing but never really recorded anything because he’s such a perfectionist and was just working so hard to get those three songs to us. But, we wanted more.” 

Trautwein’s friends hosted a bonfire at Ocean Beach to celebrate his life on Saturday, April 30. Ceder felt convinced that Trautwein created this experience for him and everyone who attended due to the beauty of the sequence of events. As everyone watched the sunset, dolphins jumped out of the water beyond the surfers, creating a remarkable sight. The group then moved to the bonfire and began sharing stories about Trautwein and playing and singing along to his song recordings. Fireworks at SeaWorld lit up the night sky, ending a very special night. 

Ceder shared his sentiments and takeaways from Trautwein’s celebration of life. 

“It was because of Ian that we just had this really special, really unique experience with each other,” Ceder said. “I think if you look for it, you’ll find him impacting or influencing your life. So, it’s not that he’s gone, he’s just influencing your life in a different way if you’re open to it. Go do the things that you don’t want to do. Now you have a reason. Either Ian would’ve done it, or Ian would’ve wanted you to do it, so why not just go and do things. You’ve always got a reason now.”

Gorsuch shared the one word he would use to describe Trautwein’s impact and legacy, attesting powerfully, yet simply, to how Trautwein moved others. 

“Unforgettable,” Gorsuch said. 

Trautwein brought profound comfort, inspiration, and enthusiasm for adventure into everyone’s lives, and his light will continue to shine on through his songs, his stories, and in the hearts and minds of those who knew him. 

While Trautwein’s time spent at USD was short, he had the ability to fit a month’s equivalence of memories into a day, into a night, into an hour. Trautwein will be remembered for the way he made people feel, but most significantly, his unwavering courage to be the big spoon no matter what curveball life threw at him.