Spring brings in new rings
Iris Peña-Franco and Jose Franco got married this past January at the University of San Diego in the Immaculate. Peña-Franco and Franco have been dating since their senior year of high school.
“Ring before spring” is a phenomenon that usually occurs more often at religious southern universities, but appears to be a reoccurring topic of discussion at the University of San Diego.
This term refers to a couple who gets engaged before graduating in the spring. Although USD is a religious-affiliated university, some Toreros have a particular notion that couples should not be engaged pre-graduation.
On the other hand, there are certain circumstances that some couples may face in which an early engagement is the only option.
In an article with USA Today, Oakland University professor of sociology Terri Orbuch said that students’ religious reasons can lead to an early marriage because in many religions sexual behavior isn’t acceptable until marriage.
As a devout Christian, senior
Dominique Rougeau understands from a religious point of view some of the benefits that may accompany an early engagement.
“I think people decide to get married so young because it allows many things to become more acceptable from a religious perspective,” Rougeau said. “It is a convenient and holy — for those who identify as Christian — way to move in together and live with that significant other post-graduation as they’re transitioning into a new phase of life.”
Although Rougeau is understanding of this practice, she believes that it would make just as much sense to wait until after graduation.
“I think marriage is a very beautiful and exciting milestone to experience,” Rougeau said. “But at our age, I personally believe it is a tad young to experience that and to step into all of the expectations that come with the married life.”
This poses the question of how young is too young for marriage and what would be an appropriate age.
“I think that any age at or under 23 is too young for marriage,” Rougeau said. “I believe it is crucial for a person to gain a strong sense of self before committing themselves to another person through marriage. At age 23 or younger, I just don’t know if a person has fully matured and developed a sense of self of truly knowing who they are.”
However, there may be some circumstances that make an early engagement more socially acceptable.
A factor that played a crucial role in junior Iris Peña-Franco’s early engagement was her husband’s decision to enlist in the army right after high school graduation.
“While he was at basic training/MOS (military occupational speciality) school for six months we only communicated through letter and one phone call during Thanksgiving,” Peña-Franco said. “It was the first time we were away from each other during the six months of basic training, and knowing that I was still there supporting him along the way really made him feel like he couldn’t be without me — at least that’s what he said when he was down on one knee. When he came back for Christmas that’s when he popped the question.”
Peña-Franco got engaged to her now-husband during her first year at USD at the age of 19. They married this past January.
“I always thought that I would get engaged when I was in college, but I didn’t think it would be so early,” Peña-Franco said. “I also thought that I would get married after graduating college. Plans change though.”
Having a child get engaged so early during their college education may be concerning for some parents, seeing as their child is committing to a lifelong relationship, but Peña-Franco’s parents took a more understanding approach.
“My parents told my fiancé at the time that we had to stick to our own paths, meaning graduating college and finishing his time in the service,” Peña-Franco said. “And as long as we supported each other through that and did not interfere so that we could have the best possible future, he could have their blessing to ask me.”
Peña-Franco said she is a relatively private person by nature, so many of her fellow Toreros were surprised to find out she is now happily married.
“Friends are always so shocked just because I don’t parade it around,” Peña-Franco said. “Professors that I end up telling for travel purposes always tell me, ‘You are so young.’ But in all honesty, I knew he was the one for me because we were best friends since sixth grade and then made it official our senior year (of high school).”
It is common for couples to take creative photos when announcing their engagement.
Senior Julie Lai noted that while she does believe being in college may be too young to make such a big commitment, she doesn’t associate a negative stigma with that thought.
“People look at young couples who are engaged or married and think, ‘Wow, you’re leaving the party early,’ or believe they are giving away their freedom,” Lai said. “I don’t think that’s true. You’re freely choosing to enter into a different life filled with different adventure, filled with new challenges and joys unlike you’ve ever experienced.”
Questioning commitment can be a result of societal pressures from family, friends, and the media. Lai shared her perspective on the matter.
“It can be troublesome if you’re not ready or with the right person,” Lai said. “But we’re never going to be totally ready either. We are told we need to do a lot of things before we get married, like be financially stable, travel, date around, and so much more. But who said that was the best part of life? I refuse to believe that the peak of my life was in my 20s.”
Even as a sophomore, Ryan Gentry has noticed a lot of his friends starting to get engaged.
“My initial reaction is always, ‘Why?’” Gentry said. “I don’t understand why they wouldn’t want to figure out real adult life first before jumping into something like that.”
Gentry commented on a negative stigma that is associated with early engagements and marriages.
“I think the stigma comes from assuming there is a lack of world experience in the couple,” Gentry said. “However, I do think the stigma lessens the more the couple seems prepared for their futures. People with plans inspire more confidence.”
Gentry noted that early proposals and marriages tend to come off as presumptuous.
“These are two people that simply assume they know everything they need to know about how they will feel in the future,” Gentry said. “I will say though, it is kind of cool to see two young people taking that chance. There is a bit of charm to it.”
Gentry ended on a positive note.
“These are all very subjective opinions,” Gentry said. “At the end of the day, if the couple really thinks they can pull it off, who am I to tell them they can’t?”
Yes — the notion of ring before spring might not be as common among Toreros, but that does not mean it’s not occurring around campus. There can be several reasons why a couple decides to commit to marriage earlier rather than later on, as well as other reasons why a couple may decide not to.