Take yourself on a date

How a day by myself revolutionized my semester

KARISA KAMPBELL / NEWS EDITOR / THE USD VISTA

The semester started out in (what I thought at the time) the worst way possible: I got dumped. Five days before returning to campus after doing five weeks of long distance with a 17 hour time difference, my ex called me to tell me he was breaking up with me, after texting me earlier that day that he wasn’t going to break up with me. I felt betrayed and backstabbed, to say the least. 

For the first time in eight months, I was forced to navigate what being alone was like. The breakup came in the midst of trying to find my place at USD, and I really didn’t have many friends outside of my ex and the people that he surrounded himself with. 

My biggest fear became being alone, and I hated to think that I no longer had a “person” to do mundane things with like going to the grocery store, or doing laundry. I hated the fact that I would have to do these things alone now and that I couldn’t just walk down the hall and knock on his door whenever I was bored. 

I had to accept that there would be times where I would be lonely and would just have to be by myself.

It sounded like the worst thing in the world until I did it; I took myself on a date. On a Friday in February, I had nothing to do and decided that I would go on an adventure by myself. I did the things that I wanted to do and fearlessly led the way to my own happiness that day. I felt exhilarated, independent and proud of myself for being able to have fun just by myself. 

Instead of being something that I dreaded, it started to become something I looked forward to. I began to brainstorm things that I wanted to do the next opportunity I had, and was excited by the opportunity to take myself on a date over and over again. 

I started sitting at restaurants by myself, laying on the beach alone, and explored some of the gems of San Diego solo. This time alone allowed me to reflect, decompress and find myself again for the first time in what felt like forever. Taking myself on a date was the best decision I ever made because it reminded me that I am brave, I am strong and that I am wholly enough just by myself. 

I was happy again. I firmly believe that in order for the magic of dating yourself to work, you have to do something that you want to do. Go somewhere you have always wanted to go, research places that peak your interest and do that. However, for some ideas, here are some examples of some of my favorite dates I have taken myself on. 

Date #1

Downtown San Diego 

This is the first date that I took myself on and is what made me want to do it again and again. I went to San Diego Central Library, got a library card and explored the giant nine-story library Downtown. I made friends with an international grad student who was also trying to figure out how to get a library card. We spent two and a half hours together walking around the library, learning about events and learning about each other. Afterwards, I went to In-N-Out, got myself a Double-Double, went back to my apartment and watched Jersey Shore.

Date #2

Verbatim books and Point Loma Seafood

Two of the things that I love most are books and seafood. For this date, I decided to explore two places that I had only ever heard amazing things about. First I went to Verbatim books, a used book store with tons of charismatic charm. I spent around 45 minutes wandering the store, looking at books, and taking in the atmosphere. I purchased a couple of Nancy Drew books, as I could not pass up the opportunity to re-read some of these books for only $2 each. I then drove to Point Loma Seafood where I ordered delicious clam chowder in a bread bowl. I sat by the pier and when I finished eating, I took a walk around the boatyard at sunset.  It was my ideal day.

Date #3

San Diego Zoo

If you ever have an extra $100 lying around, I cannot recommend buying a San Diego Zoo membership enough. A one day ticket is $67, whereas a yearlong membership is $119 (before student discount) and includes admission to both the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Safari Park (where I plan to take myself on a date next). 

I found myself at the zoo so often this semester whenever I wanted to have a fun day to myself where I was able to unwind, relax and look at all the amazing animals. 

Plus, the San Diego Zoo is very active in conservation efforts, so your membership contributes to helping save endangered species through integrating wildlife, healthcare, science and education to create conservation solutions. 

While the thought of being alone terrified me at the beginning of the semester, the break up revolutionized my life by forcing me to be alone. After spending time with myself, I am happier, more confident, and more energized by life than I ever have been. These dates make me feel independent and proud of the person I am. 

The only relationship that is guaranteed in my life is the relationship I have with myself, and taking myself on dates made me realize how truly amazing I am.