Clinton, Obama caught in 3 a.m. scandal

Harry Potter

This year’s presidential campaign has crossed more lines than race and gender for the Democratic party. According to The Associated Press, presidential hopefuls Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have ended their rivalry in style: with dinner for two on Tuesday in Hershey, Pa., where the two were campaigning for the upcoming primary.

Clinton and Obama were seen canoodling in his tour bus soon after their dinner date, and again the following afternoon before a Clinton rally outside Hershey.

“The two have a very close relationship,” Obama aide Ivan Mason said. “It was strictly business, and we hope America will continue to focus on the challenges surrounding the presidential campaign instead of the candidates’ personal lives.”

Clinton’s representative claims there was no dinner date that evening and, in fact, Clinton said in a following press conference she was up until 3 a.m. and didn’t dine at all Tuesday night, though she may have misspoken about the occasion.

“We see a very strong likelihood for a Clinton/Obama ticket, and nothing else should matter,” Clinton aide Julia Gerson said.

The AP suggests that Obama and Clinton may have had intimate relations since before the South Carolina primary, when the two acknowledged similarities in their health care plans. Their budding relationship blossomed thereafter, both Clinton and Obama gallivanting the country together, with poisonous attacks to each other in public and at debates, yet smooching in the shadows of the ’08 election.

A recent YouTube video shows Clinton and Obama shaking hands at the end of an Ohio debate, Obama’s arm resting gently on Clinton’s lower back. The video then proceeds to a reception following the debate, wherein Clinton and Obama exit the building hand-in-hand, skipping away from their respective entourages.

“What we need in this country is a restored sense of decency,” presidential candidate Ralph Nader said.

Nader, who is secretly pulling for John McCain to come out on top of November’s presidential election, said he chose to run as a Democratic candidate for president late in the year after he saw subtle signs of harmony between Clinton and Obama.

Media sources like The New York Times and CNN have denounced the current Democratic presidential candidates for bloodying the Democratic race enough to damage their outcome in November against Republican nominee John McCain.

A recent New York Times article reports Pennsylvania superdelegates demanding Clinton to relinquish her candidacy so Democrats can instead focus on the main election this year.

The love affair between Obama and Clinton may, however, be the exact unity the Democratic party is searching for.

“I think Hillary and Barack would make a great couple. Their ticket to Washington could lead to more than President and Vice President, and wouldn’t that be something,” Pennsylvania resident George Harris said. “Besides, another Clinton deserves a fling in the White House.”

While Democrats have the nation in uproar once again, Republicans are focusing on other aspects of the race, namely gun control and the war in Iraq. President Bush is campaigning for McCain this week in Texas and Alabama, concentrating his speeches on McCain’s devotion to keeping the military involved in Iraq.

McCain could not be reached for a comment, as he was attending an NRA conference in Cheyenne, Wyo., at press date.