I’m bossy and I like it

From toddler to teen, being bossy is the reason for my success

Karisa Kampbell / News Editor / The USD Vista

Most three-year-old dance recitals look the same: cute toddlers in tutus, twirling around the stage, maybe some kids staring off into space, not really sure what they are doing. Mine, however, was not like this. Instead of blissfully prancing around the stage, and tapping my toes to “Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo,” I took it upon myself to correct the people who were doing the dance wrong, on stage, in front of everybody in the audience. 

The girl who was standing to the right of me was tapping the wrong foot, so I nudged her, pointed at my foot, and then rhythmically shook my wrist and pointed to the foot that she was supposed to be tapping. This moment now infamously lives on through a VHS tape in a box in our basement. 

After the recital, many people approached my mom, light heartedly joking that she “will have her hands full,” or wishing her “good luck,” while I remained completely ignorant of any “wrong” I had done, or any idea of the bigger societal construct that I was challenging as a three-year-old shaking her butt to “Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo;” girls are not meant to be bossy. 

While this instance may have been the first of many public instances where my mother discovered she, in fact, had a very strong-willed daughter, it was definitely not the last. In preschool, I would tell the boys what to do at recess and they would listen. Or in Kindergarten, I would logically explain to other girls that they can hold their mom’s hand when she comes for lunch, but not my mom’s hand because she is my mom and not theirs. I became a menace to the idea that a girl shouldn’t be or couldn’t be bossy because I most definitely was.

However, my bossiness was never a bad thing growing up: it set me apart from other students, it gave me a drive to want to do well and succeed in school, or any other activity, and it instilled in me the idea that I am in charge of my own life, and I have always had the ability to mold my life into whatever I wanted it to be. 

As I grew older, the light-hearted wishes became hard blows to my strong-willed temperament. I began to understand the media signals and societal constructs that rampantly flow through society, conforming girls to remain soft spoken and well behaved.

Telling boys what to do didn’t go over as well anymore. Teachers, such as my high school theatre teacher, made it painfully obvious that standing up for myself and using my voice would result in not being cast in a show. 

I began to slowly lose my voice, my edge, on the idea that I would fit in better and draw less attention to myself, as long as I began to fit into the mold of what society wanted me to be as a woman. And the sad part is, it worked. 

Although I remained incredibly driven and independent from  a young age, I began to lose the ability to speak up and stand up for myself in fear of judgement from others. 

Gender norms and stereotypes only contribute to this problem.  A man being called bossy speaks to his success and dedication to the job, while a woman being called bossy speaks to her downfall and the word is used as an insult. For the same word to have two different connotations, based on its gendered implications, only further exploits how the patriarchy is so deeply rooted into our society. 

The world needs bossy women. 

We need bossy women in this world to stand up for our rights, to fight for the collective good, and to do whatever it is that she may want to do. We need all women to become bossy women so that they know they can stand up for themselves, take care of themselves, and run the world by themselves.

While the world does everything in its power to stop bossy women, I am doing everything in mine to reclaim this title. I am proud to have grown up with the confidence to be loud and to be bossy, because without any of that, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Being bossy gives me drive, gives me confidence, and makes me feel like I can do anything I put my mind to. And the incredible part is that being bossy has gotten me to be exactly where I wanted to be. 

I’ve grown in leadership positions in every club, activity, organization I’ve been a part of. I got into the university of my dreams, and I continue to surprise myself with the new things that I accomplish. These accomplishments have given me the confidence and encouragement to continue to be bossy in a world that wants me to be anything but. 

While many may have laughed at my three year old self, correcting the mistakes my peer was making, I am proud to be raised with the confidence to go in front of others to do that, and I hope that one day I can raise bossy daughters too.